Oppofact #104

"CB" (jrcb) 11/08/2018 at 21:01 • Filed to: Oppositefact

16

61

The CVPI is possibly the most overrated vehicle in existence. The most recognizable feature, lasting forever, is also shared by the Toyota Camry, which is also significantly less likely to cause the people in front of you to slam on their brakes .

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:08

4

Second, I had one briefly...it wasn’t a great car to own. 

vondon302 > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:11

1

It's fun in the snow but yes and I'll drive one to work tomorrow.

Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:12

1

Daaaamn, shots fired at our resident Crown Vic owner.

vicali > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:12

1

True. 

The Snowman > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:14

1

I bought a 35k mile G rand Marquis and I love it. It does need posi  though.

NKato > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:14

8

Them's fighting words, boy. We can arrange a shootout if you like. My Killer Queen against your Camry. We'll have to find a venue for it though. 

CB > The Snowman 11/08/2018 at 21:15

0

I mean, at least that gets some semblance of semi-luxobargenesss.

functionoverfashion > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:15

5

eh, lots of cars “last forever” if you just maintain them. 

CB > NKato 11/08/2018 at 21:15

3

Camry would win.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:17

3

It’s a shitty truck without a bed. The engine is reliable because it’s lazy(nothing wrong with that for what it’s in).

NKato > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:17

3

I doubt it. 

CB > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 11/08/2018 at 21:17

1

It’s also pretty slow.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:18

2

The Camry does’t inflate your sense of importance though.

CB > NKato 11/08/2018 at 21:19

12

The Camry is faster, has better fuel economy, is more comfortable, and is less likely to make everyone on the road hate you for looking like a  cop.

And before the “but it has RWD, and RWD make everything better!”, it also handles like a drunk on a shopping cart.

CB > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 11/08/2018 at 21:21

0

I think it’s impossible to have an ego and also drive a Camry. However, you can still be an asshole behind the wheel of one.

AestheticsInMotion > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:21

4

RWD  does make everything better tho

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:22

0

^agree with this guy. I’d take a Camry 10/10 times over a CVPI or any other stock Panther body.

Yes even a goddamn Marauder.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:22

10

Also, 90% of the owners seem to be potential school shooters or old wannabe cops.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:24

7

Bad take. I love the CVPI

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > NKato 11/08/2018 at 21:24

4

Demolition derby

CB > AestheticsInMotion 11/08/2018 at 21:25

1

Not everything. Some things that are RWD are good, yes, but not all. RWD pickups in the snow with nothing in the bed is not a winning combo.

NKato > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:25

1

... faster top speed , maybe. Fuel economy? Who cares?

If people hate me for looking like a cop, they’re hating the wrong guy. I find black Explorers more infuriating. Besides, the Queen is going to get a makeover, and she'll look like an early model whale. 

And you’re obviously a fan of FWD. That’s fine, that’s your taste.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:25

5

I’m getting a Dodge Charger, white Ford Explorer and a white crown Vic just to piss people off.

CB > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 11/08/2018 at 21:25

1

Add a Tahoe to the mix.

NKato > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 11/08/2018 at 21:27

1

 The Camry would lose instantly by TKO.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:27

1

Fact, and when civilians own them they don’t even have the only redeeming features of lights and a siren.

...s low, and they handle like my truck, but with less frame rigidity.

Spanfeller is a twat > NKato 11/08/2018 at 21:28

0

Never give up 

NKato > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 11/08/2018 at 21:29

2

Speaking of chargers, a Charger Pursuit is my likely second car. Safer, faster, and more modern. 

AestheticsInMotion > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:29

3

I’m thinking purely for fun. Yes, for practically you’re right.

I still remember getting a rwd manual Ranger stuck on flat grass once.... 

CB > NKato 11/08/2018 at 21:30

1

Faster 0-60, too. (Although not by much. Neither are rocket ships). And fuel economy is important when you drive a lot.

I’m not FWD biased. Thinking that a car having certain wheels driven makes it better is faulty thinking.

Spanfeller is a twat > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:31

3

I feel like the CVPI is a Scotty Kilmer type car, no offense to NKato; I don’t think he reflects these kind of owners I think he’s just very passionate about his car ....

In most cases, a Scotty Kilmer car because it’s for people that read too much bullshit on the internet about shit that doesn’t matter as much, and defend dying technology because it’s marginally cheaper to fix despite all of the drawbacks of staying... basically in the 80s.

CB > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 11/08/2018 at 21:32

1

I think we’ve disagreed on this point before. Which is alright.

Spanfeller is a twat > NKato 11/08/2018 at 21:32

0

Wait what! I thought you hated unibody

NKato > Spanfeller is a twat 11/08/2018 at 21:34

0

I do hate unibody, but that gets trumped by my respect for vehicles that have served.

Spanfeller is a twat > NKato 11/08/2018 at 21:36

0

Then get a Caprice. 

NKato > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:36

0

Agreed on the wheel arrangement. I like to laugh at pickup owners for getting stuck in the ice while my car passes them at a leisurely pace. This happened in February, uphill, with a Tacoma stuck while the Queen drove slightly sideways on old tires.

NKato > Spanfeller is a twat 11/08/2018 at 21:41

0

That’s actually one of the options, but I'd have to buy out of state and import. 

BigBlock440 > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:43

3

The CVPI is possibly the most overrated vehicle in existe nce. The most recognizable feature, lasting forever, is also shared by the Toyota Camry,

You want a car that’s a truck?  Camry’s not going to last in that usage.  Put a mild cam and headers on the Camry, see how much improvement you get.  Swap the rearend for some deeper gears, how much does it bring down the 1/4 mile time?  It’s also cavernous, able to fit 7 adult males without sitting on laps, I’ve never seen a Camry do that.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:44

2

Chevy caprice classic!

Spanfeller is a twat > NKato 11/08/2018 at 21:45

0

I’d only get the Caprice if I was gonna choose from cop cars. Maybe the Taurus SHO. Maybe. 

gmctavish needs more space > CB 11/08/2018 at 21:46

2

What about older civilian panthers? Because I want an early aerobody more than I probably should

NKato > Spanfeller is a twat 11/08/2018 at 21:46

0

 The Taurus is a questionable platform on safety. To be frank, I've considered the Tahoe so I could trailer the Queen to events. 

CB > gmctavish needs more space 11/08/2018 at 21:47

1

Those are fine.

Spanfeller is a twat > NKato 11/08/2018 at 21:52

0

I think the Taurus is pretty safe.... probably safer than the crown vic. Plus, the ecoboost has  torque for days if you wanna tow

NKato > Spanfeller is a twat 11/08/2018 at 22:23

1

You’re not wrong. That’s why I want to try and rehabilitate the CVPI’s reputation by making her look good.

I have plans to re-do her exterior to look like a 1998 CVPI. An early model whale. Bought the first pieces of chrome trimmed fixtures this week: taillights. Next will be new bumper covers, painted and given the chrome trim strips. And finally, the chrome spotlight.

Also I personally would not have ended up a CVPI fan if automakers hadn’t started treating their products  like smartphones.

Spanfeller is a twat > NKato 11/08/2018 at 22:29

0

I mean, we all abuse our car’s status... since my tailights look like the ones from a charger from behind, almost no one tail-gates me at night!

NKato > Spanfeller is a twat 11/08/2018 at 22:34

0

There’s this guy on my 3am commute home. He drives a Dart and Challenger. One night, he came up behind my car on the river road, and realized what model it was. He backed off really fast.

Imagine seeing a pair of challenger headlights in your rear view mirror about 2 car lengths behind. He suddenly falls off the pace until you  can’t see him.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB 11/08/2018 at 22:41

2

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB 11/08/2018 at 22:43

3

The internet tells that disagreeing is, in fact, very much not alright.

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/08/2018 at 22:46

0

I mean, COFL is a cool dude. 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB 11/08/2018 at 22:48

1

Yeah if you like people who are really friendly, outgoing, down-to-earth, and all that jazz!

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/08/2018 at 22:53

0

... I mean, you meet most of that criteria too, and I find you agreeable?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB 11/08/2018 at 23:05

0

I can't say that I don't not disagree 

Chariotoflove > CB 11/08/2018 at 23:33

0

I’m pretty sure that the people that buy these from police auctions do it specifically to mess with people on the highway.

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > CB 11/09/2018 at 07:19

1

RWD pickups in the snow with nothing in the bed is not a winning combo.

You’re not doing it  right then.

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 11/09/2018 at 07:22

0

No, but it does seem to make you an oblivious moron on the road.

Sorry CB, its just the truth of Camry Owners.

Your boy, BJR > NKato 11/09/2018 at 09:20

1

Nobody at “events” wants to see a raggedy old crown vic.

Your boy, BJR > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 11/09/2018 at 09:26

1

At radwood there was a group of CVPI owners on the parking lot outside hanging by their cars. All had cargo shorts. 2 had fedoras. All had some sort of wispy face pube facial hair (2 neck beards, a shitty stache, and one set of mutton chops.) 1 greasy ponytail, a wallet chain, 2 were wearing fingerless gloves, and all were like 50 pounds overweight and had bad skin. Basically, you know the kids in HS who gathered by the front door in the morning reading manga? Who used messenger bags instead of backpacks? Who naruto ran in gym? That’s who’s driving panthers these days. I almost took a pic of the group, but  I decided that’d be too mean.

Your boy, BJR > CB 11/09/2018 at 09:28

0

They’re complete shit, even for a police car. The only reason they became ubiquitous is because Chevy discontinued the B Body with no replacement.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Your boy, BJR 11/09/2018 at 10:40

0

That is the scientific evidence we needed. You have failed. 

BJ > CB 11/09/2018 at 21:00

0

Yesterday, I was riding my bicycle and a guy in an old CVPI with a Motörhead sticker honked at me. As best I can tell, it’s because I was riding a bicycle.

Then I had a run-in with a crazy lady who signalled to turn right and then freaked out at me when I rode behind her in the street, instead of taking the bike lane on her right. She never turned.

And then on the way home, I got hit by a car and nearly ran into two other cars that cut me off.

So, um, yeah.... EFF U CVPI guy for jinxing my day.